


Right Here

by 17bblack



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:32:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4472489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17bblack/pseuds/17bblack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam knows he loves Zayn. Zayn knows he loves Liam. They both are apprehensive about admitting it to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> It might make no sense. Sorry

Liam was eating french fries, sitting there on the hotel’s restaurant with a _fucking horrible_ posture, like he wasn’t really worth anything. He dipped two fries in ketchup and ate them carefully, bit by bit, holding each in one hand, staring blankly at the table. Zayn was sitting right in front of him, scrolling through his phone with one hand as the other was placed beneath his chin, his eyes flickering on Payne all the time. Liam wondered if he’d ever find someone who’d love him the way he really is or who wouldn’t care about small things - such as eating fries with both hands. He thought about it all the time, to be quite honest, but since he’d broken up with the last girl he had been with, the thoughts were haunting him way more often than they did before.

Zayn knew about all of that - first, because they both have talked about it before, second, because Zayn could always tell when Liam was thinking about that subject or anything that could upset him.

Liam shifted in his seat and his eyes caught Zayn’s gaze. He froze but managed to show otherwise, making Zayn’s heart crunch in his chest. He hated to see Liam that way.

“What?” Liam asked, in a muffled tone.

Zayn stared at him and shook his head negatively, his lips forming a frown that wasn’t _exactly_ sad, while his eyes softened at Liam’s intense stare.

“Nothing.” Zayn said, playing with the straw in his drink and turning back to his phone.

Zayn suddenly had a soft smile on his face and Liam thought it was _annoying_. And also cute. He rolled his eyes and let go of the french fries, making too much noise in the proccess.

“What is it?” He asked once more, raising his eyebrows.

“That’s a question I should be asking. What’s bothering you?”

Liam rolled his eyes again and Zayn’s softness was drained away from him.

“Nothing.”

“Come on. I know you’re feeling down. I can see it.”

“No.”

“I know it’s something.”

“Oh. God.”

Liam’s tone was way too loud and harsh and it made Harry turn around to face him, a surprised look on his face, making his green eyes look bigger.

“You alright?” He asked, in his normal tone, flickering his eyes on Zayn across the table.

“Yeah.” Liam answered, but he didn’t take his eyes off Zayn for a split second.

He just wanted to cry. That was it. He just wanted to go to his room and cry, because he was just too overwhelmed with bad emotions and he couldn’t take it any longer. He had to fucking cry. So off he went, storming out of the restaurant and getting in the elevator as quickly as he could, without looking back to see if someone was after him– because he knew Zayn was and he really didn’t need the confirmation.

As he unlocked the door and opened it, Zayn stepped out of the elevator.

“Liam!” He ran a little bit, just so he wouldn’t take the risk of Payne closing the door on him. “Can I come in?”

Liam stared at him, running a hand through his hair when the eye contact was broken.

“I need to be alone.” He replied, sighing.

“You don’t.” Zayn pleaded, his eyes glowing with antecipation.

Liam appeared to consider his words, sighing and gesturing for Zayn to come in. He stepped inside the room, pacing carefully towards the bed. Liam shoved his hoodie out of his body, shot Zayn a look and let his body fall to the bed, lying on his belly.   
Zayn smiled softly and lied beside him, on his side.   
He hesitated, but he was brave enough to lean in closer to Payne and caress his back tenderly with his fingertips, his heart warming up as the sound of a soft sigh escaped Liam’s mouth.

“I don’t want you to be sad, Liam.” Zayn whispered, sliding his body even closer to him. “I really get fucking angry when you black out like this.”

There was some seconds of silence as Liam tried to understand what Zayn had said.

“What do you mean I black out?” he asked then, turning abruptly on his side to stare at Zayn.

“You get just so overwhelmed with sadness and anger that you seem to forget who you are, completely.” Malik stopped talking but Liam was still staring at him, clearly not wanting him to shut up. “You just forget how important you are. How brilliant, clever, funny, loving, beautiful, brave… It pisses me off to know you just forget about it because of stupid little things, you know.”

Zayn took a deep breath, and Liam kept staring at him.

“It’s not stupid to be afraid of dying alone.” Liam said, shaking his shoulders slightly like a proper eight year old, like he hadn't heard anything good at all.

“You’re not gonna die alone.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am.” Zayn smiled, genuinely smiled, leaving Liam confused.

Payne let out a frustrated sigh, not knowing what to do next. Truth be told, he wanted to tell Zayn how much he loved him and how much he wouldn’t mind not being in a romantic relationship with anyone if he had Zayn by his side. Hell, he'd rather not have anyone but Zayn.

“Come here, Liam. Let me give you a hug.”

Zayn’s free hand tugged at Liam’s hair as he pulled him closer in a tight hug, caressing his back softly.  
Liam’s heart was beating like crazy, and Zayn could feel it. He leaned his face in, pressing his lips to Liam’s hair for a split second. Much to his surprise, Liam cocked his head up to look at Zayn, his eyes glowing with something Zayn could not decipher.

“Zayn-” he began, but gave up. He closed his eyes for a second, and stared at him once more, tongue-tied, sliding his body away from Malik- but just enough to look in his eyes with a comfirtable distance.

“Yeah?” Zayn whispered, showing he wanted to hear whatever it was.

Liam’d suddenly gave up on what he was about to say and that drove Zayn kinda mad inside.

“Liam, just say it.”

Silence.

Zayn respected his will, his hands reaching to Liam’s curly mop of hair and ruffling it. Malik sighed, not able to think of anything to say and convincing his curious mind that he’d better respect Liam’s space.

“Um, like,” Liam whispers, laying on his back again. “it’s just so hard for me to keep up with my own feelings, you know?”

“Yeah.” Zayn stared at Liam, feeling like his heart could fly straight to his mouth at any second, not really knowing why.

Liam seemed to think for some minutes, and the feeling of Malik’s eyes on him didn’t really let him think properly.

“I just…” He sat up, turning his back on Zayn. “I just feel so alone, you know? I’m terrified of dying alone, of never finding love. I really mean it. You know what they say… Love doesn’t come in a minute, sometimes it doesn’t come _at all_.”

Zayn had a weak smile on his lips, but Liam sadly couldn’t see it. Maybe if he’d caught the smile and the look in Zayn’s eyes he’d see, in no time, that he didn’t really need to worry about love _coming into_ his life, but indeed _fighting_ for it. It’d be great.

“That’s Paul McCartney babe,” Zayn smiled. “But… We all have that kind of fear…” Zayn stated, not really sure of what he was saying, scratching the back of his neck idly. “I mean… It’s no big deal. Just try not to worry about it, I mean…”

“Yeah,” Liam sighed, still not looking at Zayn. “You’ve already told me I’m not going to die alone.”

Deep down he knew he’d have to pull The Harry Styles and tell Zayn he loved him. Tell Zayn how many sleepless nights he’d gotten just trying to decipher _what was_ that time Zayn just _kissed_ him out of _nowhere_ and said _nothing_ about it, just _laughed_. Tell Zayn how it haunted him. Tell Zayn that he’d do anything, anything just to _be with him_ \- and that included fighting a battle he knew nothing about, because he was madly _in love_ with Zayn.

Maybe that was what he was really afraid of. Fighting a battle for love. Liam, as a good ol’ virgo himself, had always thought of love as something easy, something that shouldn’t hurt, something perfect, something that looked like it got out of a movie.   
But it wasn’t, really. Deep down, he knew it. He just couldn’t admit it just yet.

“I’m sorry that I don’t know what to say. I really wish I could do something to fix it for you, Liam.”

Liam froze. He held his breath, letting it go in a long sigh. Sliding his body to the back of the bed, he shot Zayn a look and lied down again, staring at the ceiling.

“It’s alright. I’m just repeating myself.”

When the silence was unbearable, Zayn tried to talk about how great Germany, the country they were currently at, was. But it didn’t really work, ‘cause Liam kept answering and commenting Zayn’s statements with _'hmmrmm’s_ and _'yeah’s_ , and Zayn thought it was just really annoying and kind of painful.  
He soon went to his room to sleep, counting it as another night they both didn’t insist for the other to sleep around.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’ve got to do it!” Louis almost shouted, pressing his fingers to his temple.

Zayn thought it was quite funny how desperate Louis was for this. Even more desperate than Zayn himself.

“I try to-”

“You _fucking_ don’t!” Tomlinson laughed ironically. “You kissed him without saying anything! How fucking awkward is that, mate? I mean… Not the kiss… I mean the situation! You’re not even trying!” Louis took a deep breath, sitting in front of Zayn and holding his hands tightly. “You’ve kissed him, you can _talk_ to him! You can do it!”

Louis’s ocean-blue eyes were as wide as they could get, and somehow Zayn got really motivated by the intense speech of Louis combined with his energetic facial expressions and the strength he was pulling on Zayn’s hands.

“I just don’t know _how_ to do it.”

Tommo’s eyes got even wider and Zayn just couldn’t believe they actually could be this wide without falling out of his face.

“ _Fucking bloody hell_ , do you know how to order a cheeseburger?” Louis asked loudly, shaking Zayn’s shoulders.

“UH, yeah!” Zayn almost shouted, shaking Louis’s hands off.

“And how do you do it?”

“WHAT?”

“How do you order a cheeseburger?”

“I…” Zayn squinted his eyes under Louis’ gaze, like he was staring at the sun.

“HOW?”

“I’D LIKE A CHEESEBURGER, PLEASE!” Zayn screamed, his hands up in the air as a sign of frustration.

Louis smiled proudly.

“That’s right! And now, how do you tell Liam you like him?”

“Liam, I like you.” Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Exactly.”

Zayn sighed deeply, pulling his knees to his chest and embracing them.

“Stop. It’s not that easy. I can’t just look at him and say it.”

Louis was still staring at Zayn, but now he had a worried look on his face. It kind of lightened up his expression, and Zayn somehow could tell Louis understood him. He’d finally got it.

“What you’re telling me,” Louis spoke slowly, like he was saying it out loud to reassure himself of the question he was making, rather than asking it. “that you’re really, _really in love_ with Liam… Or?”

Louis’ eyes were wide again and Zayn sighed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling because he just couldn’t look at Louis then.

“Yeah, bro.”

It was hard to admit it. It had always been, and despite wanting to think that  _“it always will be”_ , Zayn decided to change the natural course of things, try to change the common sense that was always ringing in his mind, and think that one day it wouldn’t be hard to admit he’d fallen in love with a friend, a co-worker, an amazing person- who happened to be a man.

When Zayn snapped back to reality and realised Louis had been quiet for a while, he felt a wave of anxiety crash on him. Louis never simply shuts up. Never.  
  


“You should talk to him after a concert.” Louis said, getting off the bed and walking to the other side of it, where Zayn was. Poking his left cheek, Louis smiled at his friend. “He’s always so overwhelmed with adrenaline that he most likely wouldn’t freak out. If _that’s_ what you’re worried about.”

Louis stood there, waiting for an answer he wouldn’t get. Zayn still stared at the ceiling, considering what Tomlinson had said. Maybe he was right. Still, he didn't know _how_ to do it.

Zayn was pulled to the center of the bed by Louis, who wanted to sit next to him. Leaning in so he could look into Zayn’s eyes, he screamed a very high-pitched “SO?” and that really, really hurt Zayn’s eardrums, but it made him laugh anyway, and the tension softened a bit.

“You might be right,” Zayn said as soon as his laugh died down. “I just need to figure out how I’m going to say it.”

“You got it, babe! Liam won’t resist ya.”

“ _Shut up_.”

The smile on Louis’ lips disappeared when Zayn stuffed a pillow into his face, a playful laugh flying out of his lips.


End file.
